rosesarette ~violets are black

Saturday, November 21, 2009

seen this guy?

i threw up @ 10:53:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Friday, November 20, 2009

life in cartoon motion

i made this the WHOLE day!
hey i used PAINT okay!
from scratch!
muahaha....

i thought i'd made something like this so sweetheart can turn this into a sticker so i can paste it on my helmet! :DDD

which looks better?

and lastly, my favourite,

i threw up @ 7:12:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Thursday, November 19, 2009

have you ever been so lost?

boyfie's hp batt is flat :(
and i am so sad
sis tried to tie a bow to my hair
-.-
i love my pink manicure ;)

this is my view when i'm lovesick.
:(

its already way past 10.
and i've not recieved any calls sms or anything
i tried contacting but i couldn't get through
my thoughts had been running wild.
:S i'm so worried :(

i think i should cheer myself up with some funny photos.

err.... okaaaayyy.....

credits for photos

i threw up @ 7:23:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

i forgot what is scool.. sholl.. school?

been really pissed off with the comp lately. connection sucks ass and sis has been hogging on it for i don't know how long! it's NO SCHOOL month and going to be that way till... april? so that means, no mom to cook for me nice breakfast. sooo.... i made them myself!

cmon, drool.... haha!! want some, call me. i'll charge you no less than 8 bucks per plate. excluding delivery charge. -.-

oh yeah and the day before, i had these for supper!

mmm... mini pizzas! and i'll make for you free of charge! just buy me the ingredients.

not to forget, the last day of school! omg, i'm bearing the school crest on my sleeve. -.-
we had so much fun watching movies.. that scared the shit out of siti. like final destination 3.
and movies that irritate the crap out of me. like upin dan ipin.
-______________-|||

end of school = start of work
gosh, i don't know where to start.
mom keeps asking me if i want to continue working at kfc.
i literally screamed at her.
no way am i going back there.
she also recommended me to work at a manufacturing factory.
i said, "I WANT F&B!!"
she then gave me the 'cerewet nah..' face.
i'm gonna get the straits times today and get ready some markers for circling.

speaking about newspapers, there's this really cute 2-year-old panda from china called Wujie.
and i bet siti will scream at it and vigorously shaking the newspaper when she sees how cute the panda is. it's on today's the new paper. 17th nov.

oh yeah siti said she wanna learn to play the guitar
get a left handed guitar first and we'll see how.
lol

dad's gonna take me to shopping!!
sooner or later....
at mustafa.
-__-|| err...
at vivo can or not?
like please?
ok ah at least jurong point.
eh please ah... :(
pretty please?
ok ah handsome please....
:( :(

i threw up @ 9:42:00 AM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Sunday, November 15, 2009

getting ready

i've been dolling up. trying to get into the prom mood..
i wanna see your prom dresses!
:( mine is red and black. the top picture. hehes

green day is coming to spore in jan. :'(
i'm so sad because i've been waiting for them to tour here for the past 6 years!
but i'm short of cash to book the tickets :( :(
i am so sad
but i'll surely go if the used ever tour in spore.
<3 <3 <3

sweetheart said i looked like a princess. :)
you are my prince then.

finally i have the time to play my guitar since i have nothing to worry about anymore!
my strings were on the verge of rusting :(
i need a new set.

it's time for me to get a job.
dad said i could help him out in his job.
i'll get 30 bucks.
hmm.. not that bad ey?
but i prefer to wook in the f&b industry.
anyone knw of any vacancy please do let me know.

i miss you baby.

i threw up @ 11:54:00 AM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Friday, November 13, 2009

baby

How do I get through the night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
Oh, I.. I need you in my arms, need you to hold.
You're my world, my heart, my soul.
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,

And tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

Without you,
There'd be no sun in my sky.
There would be no love in my life.
There'd be no world left for me.
And I, Baby I don't know what I would do.
I'd be lost if I lost you.
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything real in my life.

And tell me now,
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

i threw up @ 8:57:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

chinese eyes

Liana came over to my house todayyy... and she sketched for me my nickname.
:DD

And i made her her favourite food!! TOM YUM SOUP!!

she loves it.
i love her.

i threw up @ 6:49:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Monday, November 09, 2009

recipes for the hungry

I made these a while ago.
tasted superb.

wanton mee

ingredients:
hokkien noodles
or wanton noodles

for the Wantons:
wanton skin
minced chicken
minced prawn
diced waterchestnut
diced shitake mushrooms
salt and pepper to taste

for the soup:
chicken stock
(you can use chicken cubes)
light soy sauce
dark soy sauce
sweet sauce if you like it caramel-ly
sesame oil
(no you cannot substitute this with olive oil or other oil)
chye sim

method:
1. mix all the ingredients for the wanton (except the wanton skin) together.
and this is the fillings for the wanton
2. when wrapping the fillings into the 'moneybags',you can use either eggs or water to glue the edges of the skin together.
3. you can either fry or dunk them into the soup itself.
(you don't want to prepare this before hand because the skin will not turn out crispy is it was left for a period of time before frying.
make sure you finish all the wanton skin and do not refrigerate them - they will turn hard.
if it's really a need, place them in an airtight container.)

4. if you're using chicken cubes, bring a half a pot of water to a boil and dunk the cube in.
make sure there's enough water so that it's not too salty
5. drop in those moneybags and chye sim for about 5 mins. you can spare some wantons to fry them later on.
(do not overcook. the wanton fillings will become dry and hard and your greens will lose its nutrients.)
6. on a separate bowl, mix a scoop of the soup with light soy sauce, dark soy sauce, sweet sauce and a few drops of sesame oil
(make sure there's a distinct smell of the sesame oil because that is the most vital ingredient. taste the sauce, it should be a little salty to bare tongue)
7. blanch the wanton mee for about a minute or two and drain off excess water.
8. mix the noodles and the sauce together in the bowl and then transfer them to the serving plate.
9. add the chye sim and serve with wanton soup or fried wanton whatever you may prefer.

the chinese eat wanton mee with char siew, which is pork. so i left it out. but you can substitute this with chicken if you can't consume pork. but there's already chicken in the wanton soo.... it's really up to you.

i threw up @ 9:50:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Saturday, November 07, 2009

pretty handsome

yes i really do.
omg is it just me or i look very much like you??
haha.. you're the cutest baby in the world!

but.. aaron gillespie is an exception.
haha kidding!!
sweetheart you're still the most adorable of them all!
muacks!!
<33

i threw up @ 10:40:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

happy birthday mom

today is mom's birthday
and i got to know it's salif's too.
well happy birthday to both of you.
i made this for mom. i dont know why it was pink tho.
my sis and dad forked out money to buy her a handbag.
but i'm not jealoused! :\ its the thought that counts!

i learnt to play 21 guns on guitar yesterday
maybe i should study instead :S

oh and i miss liana.. :(

miss those times when we'd have so much fun screaming at each other..
:( :( it's sad that i'll graduate before her.
i made her promise that she's get to the same poly as me!
hehehe...
i love you leeanna<33

but sweetheart, you know you'll always be the only one for me...

I miss you baby...
you've been working hard.. :(
i hardly get to meet you.
but you know that a piece of you will always be in my heart..

if you wake up one day in a red room, all alone, don't be afraid, you're just in my heart!

i threw up @ 9:49:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

poo poo caca

daddy said my meatloaf and mashed potatoes are nice.
i topped them with tangy tomato gravy.
it was a first attempt and the result is superb!
i'm so proud of myself :D:D:D
for coming up with the recipe spontaneously.
i wished i was quick enough to snap a photo before daddy ate but i was too late.. :(
i just realized that i was interested in herbs and spices.
so i wiki-ed and googled.
haha i guess culinary skills are in the blood..

i threw up @ 7:04:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

jerk

what is it about yesterday that makes you so sure?
what have i done to make you so mad?

you made love sounds like a game
but it really isn't

i threw up @ 11:09:00 AM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Sunday, October 18, 2009

another sunday wasted

look what aunt bought us from batam.

i miss sweetheart.
ALOT.
because hamly=♥

i threw up @ 8:53:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

today is weird.

i miss this man.

i had the weirdest dream last night.
first i dreamt that zulaikha died.
then i went home and shocked my sister until she got a heart attack and died.
then i met hamli to tell him what happened but he told me that he was going to die too in 2 days cause he got some cancer.
-____________________-|||
can't this get any weirder???

then after school i met some blue eyed granma on the bus
i swear i dont know her
and she gave my $4 - for duit raya
hmm, i should be grateful, i am
but i'm just wondering why i got so lucky to bump into her
hmmmmmmm.......

i threw up @ 10:24:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Saturday, October 10, 2009

hamli

there's nothing i havent done today but studying.
why am i taking this so lightly?
it bothers me
but why am i not concerned?
am i just not motivated enough?
or it's just the devil in me.
or am i just weak?

remember the first time we joked?
about the most lamest things.
i want that to come true.
even if it's just fruits and vegetables.

why do i crave for your voice?
why am i starving for your touch?
why do i cry when i miss you?
why do i love you?

i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you.

i threw up @ 9:26:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Sunday, October 04, 2009

my lesbian partner

she came to my house this morning to study.
mom cooked nasi lemak and she got 8 bucks of duit raya.
haha. we did study quite a bit. some physics and history.
i was supposed to go visting at 5. so she went home at 4.
then at the last minute, my dad cancelled it.
then i realized that liana left her history textbook at my house
so i came over to her house to pass it to her.
i saw a guitar and asked her if i could play it.
god, it was severely off tune.
before i could even tune it, her parents and foster sisters came back home.
so we had to go to somewhere else to study instead cuz would be noisy since the kids are at home.
and i got 4 bucks!
so we went to the mac at jp and we used almost all our money to buy doublecheese burger and mcnuggets and a med coke.
i taught her some history - which was stupid cuz i nver passed. but she does.
we went home at 9.30 and she continues to study at home..
i hope she does well for her n lvls.
ALL THE BEST LIANA.
I LOVE YOUUU.... :P

i didnt have much pictures to post.
since my camera phone is already inexistent
so i have to rely on webcams or other ppl's phone. hehehhh
my raya was really boring. worse raya of the century.
since o lvl is just around the corner.

i need something more.
i need my drug
eclipse me.

i threw up @ 10:59:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Jilian

it feels good to relive your memories
to walk the same road you used to
more than 3 months ago.
and see all the stangers around you
but you're alone.
and watch the sky fades to black
and feel the evening breeze through your hair
the sense of familiarity
makes you smile to yourself,
lean back and say,
oh god how i miss this feeling

i threw up @ 9:55:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Saturday, September 26, 2009

raya '09

i almost forgot to post these pictures.
it has been a very busy day on the first day of raya since we had open house on that day itself.

these are my nephews. danish, daniel and delfi. so small so cute yet so handsome. :DD
and you can see my younger brother farhan wearing white behind them.

this year's raya wasnt as fun as i thought it would be.
i haven't had the chance to visit my friends.. since o lvl is just around the corner..

and yeah i had to wear tudung. huahua..

sweetheart just found a job. yay. i'm happy for him. i should be studying. i have 4 re-exams nxt week. sheesh. tomorrow is jalan raya again. with my family. and remind me to buy some plasters. i realy need them thank you very much. gonna reuse the same shoes for prom. shh, dont tell anyone.

i threw up @ 9:11:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Monday, September 14, 2009

hamly cyrus

i met sweetheart for only 15 minutes just now.
i passed him some of the chocolate cornflakes i made.
never have i missed him this much.
if only i can make you stay...

there's so many things i want to do but have not yet done and i cant.
i guess i'm making myself grow up too fast
i want to cry but i have no reason why
i wished the temperature here was colder so i can sleep better.
i want to be out there. enjoying the silence like no other
i want to forget all the troubles that kept me worrying
i need a drug that would keep me satisfied
i've been craving for it since the moment it was gone
give me my drug.
give me you.

i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.
i want long hair. i want long hair. i want long hair.

*cries*

i threw up @ 10:48:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

chocolates

I made these this morning.
and yeah i was absent from school today
you wont wanna know why

i had a very tiring day yesterday
went to bedok north ave 4 to paint some house
from around 8am to 8pm
the first room was purple, 2nd was blue, third was pink
hahahhahahahaha....
i dont know why but it's just so hilarious to me
i painted all the three rooms myself while dad did the touchups and mom cleaned the excess paint dripping.. and there was this bangla called Jaman who kept pointing out the spots i missed to my dad. grr.. i wished i'd kick him in the ass.
while painting the last room, it got dark and guess what. the lights weren't working.
so we had to paint in the dark and wash the floor in complete darkness.
at the end of the day, all of us got blisters at the same spot on our right hand. in between the thumb and the index finger. then we waited soo effing long to get the taxi cuz the hyundai cab doesnt have a bonet big enough to fit a goddamned ladder. -.-
finally when i reached home, i couldnt find any part of my body that doesnt ache. other then my ears and my nose maybe. haha. went straight to bed and woke up the next day making chocolate cornflakes. hahahaha.

i threw up @ 1:49:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Saturday, September 12, 2009

fun facts about raisins

i bought cornflakes and a huge block of chocolate at sheng siong today.
mom made some jemput2 for hamli to bring home.
during break fast, dad brought us to sinaran to eat.
heck there was hell load of ppl breaking fast there, the house was almost full!

i cant believe the holidays are about to end.
omg i suddenly realised the existence of holiday homeworks.
sheeeeshh...
i'm gonna spend my weekend painting some stranger's house for 50 bucks.
no, i'm sorry, they dont need another painter.

i threw up @ 8:23:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Thursday, September 10, 2009

my mitch

I

FUCKING

LOVE

YOU

MUHAMMAD HAMLI BIN OTHMAN

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

i start to worry when my phone dont ring
when my eyes dont see, the one whom i missed
if only i could hold you in my arms so tight
that you wont ever let go...

i start to wonder what you could be doing
at this hour awake and thinking of me
if only i could be a butterfly
and flutter into your bedroom...

bring me into your thoughts as you lie to sleep
i'd love to be in the movie of your dreams
let yourself fall into unconsciousness
i'd die to watch you sleep...

i miss you terribly baby... :'(

i threw up @ 10:23:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Monday, September 07, 2009

eat food in moderation.

my hairstyle transformation from year 2006-2009
-.-' oh God please save me.
i want number 4 plus 20 cm more please..

i've been fooling around much lately
eating ALOT too..
yesterday i ate chappati and keema and mee goreng and milo cereal and scrambled eggs.
the day before that i ate chappati and keema and sup tulang and koko crunch
:S sweetheart must be so disappointed in me :S

prelims was okay.
i kind of underestimated the physical geog paper and realised that it was harder than human geog. X_X
i tried my best for history and i think i gave up on SS. or was it the other way round?
i could have written the 2nd last peribahasa (I KNEW IT!!) but i thought it wasnt in the list so i left it blank. omg i deserve to die.
i shaded randomly for most of my bio and chem qns in paper 1.
HAHAHA...

i don't know whats up with my hair lately. i think it sux. thank god liana hasnt seen it. (I HOPE)
hmm.. i was so embarrased the first time i came to school with that hairstyle. please tell me its ok, since sweetheart said its better than last time. :S :S :S :S :S
i'm never going to cut it ever again!! trim maybe...

my phone has gone busted. it cannot read my memory card and the left, right and the C button is spoilt. i cant on my bluetooth (SOMEHOW) and i cant play any songs! and the camera has malfunctioned. :( i cant take pictures. neither can i get them via bluetooth.. :'( !!
this totally sucks. maybe i can beg dad to buy me a new one. HECK, he'd given me ALOT of chances, i think in one year i've had like 3 phones alr. so far in these 2 years ive had, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 phones. !!!!!!! all because i either lost them or i spoilt them. SHEESH...
i deserved it. haha.. i might as well bring a cordless phone with me everywhere i go.. hahaha.. -.-''

oh yea, dont ask me whatsup with the lady gaga and katy perry songs. i dont know myself either. :S

hmm.. wonder where's all my metalcore and death metal shite.

dont worry i wont abandon them to rot. GET THAT!

i threw up @ 10:12:00 AM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

chemistry

i was supposed to study for chem paper tmr.
but instead i spent my time watching cradle of filth and SMOSH.
it's just paper 1 anyway.

while watching youtube, there's this boy, about 6 or so, stood behind us and watched whatever we were watching.. then we started to get uneasy. his mom was busy browsing some malay books. (btw his mom is a ninja) so.. we stopped watching and started teasing the boy.. calling him a busybody and stuff.. we laughed at him.. he then started to get angry and pounded his fist on his palm. (OMG THIS PART I CANNOT TAKE IT SIA) then hamli was like, "mara ke per..... "hehe... then i asked him, "awak puase??" he gave me a proud nod implying that he do fast. then we started pitying him so i said, "nak tengok cartoon?" i bombarded him with a list of cartoons which he may like to watch. he agreed on none except pokemon. so i typed pokemon on youtube and we watched the cartoon together. its like a mini screening. -.-'' then it keeps buffering and the boy got pissed then he said, "lembab nye.." in my heart, "eh2 ngade2 plk ni anak..." after about 6 minutes or so watching, his mom came with her mask covering everything but her eyes (told you she was a ninja) and called him go with her. she smiled at me. i dont know how i knew, maybe cuz her eyes wrinkled up abit? :S then we continued watching. hehehe...

i threw up @ 7:59:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

crimson

yes i did what i think is best for me.

and i hope to stop explaining myself already

you can forget about me now.

cause i already am.

because you are, to me, history.

today is the 5th day of ramadhan

mom's always not at home for break fast.

everyday ending her work at around 8.

bro's at camp

my dad... you dont wanna know.

sis and i had been breaking fast tgther now.

homecook meals

i cooked black pepper beef yesterday

for myself, hamli, mom and dad.

sis had her break fast at my aunt's house upstairs.

some laksa. i hate laksa.

ew.

sweetheart's been unwell..

he's been fasting. despite being a heavy smoker and chain smoker

i witnessed it all

how this kind of person can resist the temptation of his addictions.

for the first time in all these years.

you have done so much for me.

thank you baby.

i love you so much.

i miss liana.

thank you for uploading our picture in my blog darla.

;)

be happy and stay happy always alright..

dearest Hamli,

love=you.

and and and. i found schindler's list dvd at imm today.

1st floor. dvd sale.

i threw up @ 8:12:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Thursday, August 20, 2009

you.

there's not turning back...

we better look straight ahead and continue our life jouney together...

we started this relationship together

we go on together

there's no limits..

no hindrance.

nothing will dare to pull us apart

i threw up @ 8:32:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

the reason

pictures from yesterweek..

it seems that my vision narrowed to fit only a single soul
worthy enough of my time.. of my love.
i chose to throw away all the dusty dolls i've had on the shelves
my heart still beats without them
because i am no longer empty.

yes. i'm self centered.

"don't give a person your world, because if that person leaves you, you're left with nothing"
i'll give him my world, only to be sure that we will not leave each other and if one of us really have to, we'll go with the other. i'll make sure this will be the last. i live for only one thing - happiness. i'd travel miles to seek. but only returned with regret. the one will come. because humans are made in pairs. and one half will eventually find its other half. like i hoped i did.

God, prove me wrong that true love is not real.

i threw up @ 9:51:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Thursday, July 30, 2009

fireworks

i went to watch the fireworks last sat.

didnt bother to take pictures of them.

had some calbee potato chips and mogu2 while waiting.

these few days have been all night study night study...

i have geog mock exam tmr cuz i missed it last wk.

and this wk's mock exam is english. i think :S

parents have been arguing again

it sux to be told that you're okay when you're not

especially to be told that you're safe at home to not make me worry when you're out there somewhere.. feeling down and depressed.

ying yue's back in spore.

ryann's gone to austrailia

they've gone for a switch..

seems that thing's are just fair to me

i lost 8 bux yesterday

it disappeared into thin air

maybe just my luck.

i want to watch up

and 9 on 09/09/09

wheee.....

i watched transformers and harry potter recently

both plot sux

HAHA

tim burton's productions are still the best

waiting for 9!!

I miss Liana.

I'm sorry fr not contacting you for quite a while

she kissed me! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..........

i found my notebook empty

only sketched with one name

i threw up @ 12:05:00 AM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Monday, July 20, 2009

H1N1??

me and hamly got really ill last weekend. haha. we had fever of like 38.7 degrees celcius.. accompanied by flu and cough.. we went to the same clinic like three times... haha.. they had this special hall at the back of the polyclinic just for patients who have fever and the symptoms of H1N1... the doc gave me a 7 days mc and some vitamin c tablets but no pills for flu. -.-''

Hamly got them but why didn't i get them??! grr.... hate polyclinics.. he got mc too but only for 3 days cuz by the time he consulted the doctor his temperature was only 37.5 degrees.. huahua..

i'm still looking forward for school and night studies.. hmm.. maybe i can sneak in school despite the mc. lol. hopefully wont be sent home. i'm so gonna miss alot of things.. i still have not hand in the youth day appeal envelope. sheesh the organizer must have been waiting for the school just because of me. oops. i called up mrs loh a few times, telling her about my condition. she tells me to rest well at home. i'm just gonna have to be prepared for the pile of work thats been building up since last thurs.. damn...

blueberry ice pops. :DD

i threw up @ 2:15:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

stay with me

if you ever let me go

i'll surrender myself to earth...

i♥hamly

i threw up @ 10:05:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Saturday, July 11, 2009

ilylm. lfm. huahua...

i threw up @ 11:24:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

self potraits

i threw up @ 11:18:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

one more moment

dont take too long to say
'i love you' to the ones you love
cause time has a habit of slipping away
and out on a clear blue sky
when lightning strikes on a sunny day
just take me in
and keep me from the rain

and the words that seem so hard to say
come out when you've gone away
just stay a little while and hear me say

that i want you here tonight
and i need you by my side
for just one more moment
for just one more moment with you

turn away to say goodbye
with each and every word that passes by
like a distant memory
and time keeps slipping away
and time will turn grey
and time will be the one that holds you down

and the words that seem so hard to say
come out when you've gone away
just stay a little while and hear me say

that i want you here tonight
and i need you by my side
for just one more moment
for just one more moment
and i want you here tonight
and i need you by my side
for just one more moment
for just one more moment with you

sometimes time will treat you bad
before you even know what's wrong
in the end it hits you hard
please tell me you'll be strong

-ronin

i threw up @ 7:00:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Monday, July 06, 2009

a big photo

finally can upload a large picture. lol

i threw up @ 6:23:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

i'm retarded

i feel so mentally retarded today
maybe this would help you to understand

(text conversation between me and mom this morning)

me: mak.. (mom..)
mom: apasal? (why?)
me: nana sedih... (i'm sad)
mom: nana ni buat mak suspense lah.. apa hal sedih? (you make me suspense. why are you sad?)
me: nari youth day (today is youth day)
mom: da salahlah.. tak payah dtg sekolah? (you're mistaken.. so no need to come school?)
me: sape dtg skola nari budak bodo (only stupid ppl goes to school today)
mom: eleh.. itu budak yg tau nari youth day.. yg lupa tak kiralah.. taklah.. nana tetap pandai.. cuma tak ingat aje.. tak ingat ngan bodoh tak sama per! (that's for those who knows today is youth day. those who forgot is forgivable.. no lah, you're still smart.. only you didn't remember.. forgot and stupid is not the same what!
me: nana tak tau pun nari youth day. haha.. bodo nye aku.. (i dont even know today is youth day haha im so stupid!)
mom: mak pun tak tau.. kenapa last friday teacher atau kawan nana tak ckp? ( i dont know either. why last friday your teacher or friends didnt inform you?)
me: sumerorg tau. nana sorang je tak tau. (everybody knew. i was the only one who dont.)
mom: dalah takpelah.. agaknya nari memang hari bodoh nana... (nvm la, maybe today is your stupid day)
me: mampos. (die)
mom: mak ingat tadi sapalah yg mati... nana sedih.. rupanya nana sedih sebab nari hari bodoh nana! dalah, besok pandai balik. (i thought you're sad cuz somebody died. but you're sad cuz today is your stupid day! nvm, tmr you're gonna be smart again.)
me: -.-''''''''''' *shoots myself*

i threw up @ 10:07:00 AM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Saturday, June 27, 2009

me and sweetheart

i threw up @ 10:13:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

please don't go

mom said she's going to leave. again.
me and sis will be stuck here with the stench of marlboro red.
i want to escape.
and live with mom.
she said i have to get married quickly.
i'm forced to grow so fast.
i'm just sixteen
yet my family is broken thrice.
i want to live with mom.
i want to live with mom.

i threw up @ 10:01:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Monday, June 22, 2009

ryann

dear maryann,

firstly, i love you so fucking much.
it has been around 4 years since i knew you.
if it hadnt been for ying yue, i wouldnt have met a beautiful girl like you!
and thanks to gerard way too for being the subject that made us friends.

i'll miss the times where we'd talk about boys...
i'll miss the times when you'd teach me fall out boy on guitar through the phone...
i'll miss the times where you'd crash at my house at 11pm...
i'll miss the times where we'd slide down the bridge at the singapore river...
i'll miss you and your lame jokes...
i'll miss your voice, your laughter...

you had been a pretty bitch that i love so much
though we meet only once a year but who cares?!
i'd still love you!
take good care of my skirt
i'll take good care of your boxer pants! lol

LOVE YOU MUCH!!
XOXO marzipan =P

i threw up @ 10:27:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Sunday, June 21, 2009

my oh my

i'm ill.
my throat is like sandpapers
my nose is like a leaking tap
my body aches
my head aches
uurrggghhhh......

i think i may have contracted it from izzah who had a high fever of more than 40degcelsius and she said that she had contracted it from this aussie friend of hers saying that he's HIGHLY SUSPECTED of H1N1 flu virus. wtf.

i heard that margie called some of our classmates saying whosoever went overseas during the hols shall not come to school on monday and those who did not, do take temperature before going to school.

ok now what the heck should i do??

i threw up @ 9:36:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

7.14pm

evenings are awesome
i don't have a reason why
they just are

i threw up @ 7:52:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

feelings

the same words reverberate within my mind

as hours tick in quarters with every shifting thoughts

where movements are just intermissions of my mental chaos

allow me to vanish as my worries torment me

i threw up @ 2:58:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Sunday, June 14, 2009

what? who?

i know i'm not who everybody wants me to be.
is being different equivalent to not being good enough?
everywhere i look people are better than me.
in one way or another
yet i want the world all to myself
why cant we share?
why must people stereotype each other?
i dont get everybody
i dont get myself
i dont get you

i threw up @ 7:33:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Friday, June 12, 2009

supposed to study with liana today
we always ended up not doing the things we planned.
well at least i wanted to study..
she didnt! haha

we played the comp the whole day and logged out early. hehehhss...
i deserve a slap for not studying. anyone wanna volunteer? :X

i threw up @ 3:27:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

coolshit dudezz

2 man, 1 musical instrument.

brothers don't fight for one, they share share :D

cute kan! cute kan!!! :DDD

i threw up @ 8:31:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Monday, June 08, 2009

lol

i found the stupidest pictures. hahhaha.... -.-''''''

i threw up @ 8:31:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

hello awal.

checking out my blog????

i threw up @ 12:05:00 AM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Friday, June 05, 2009

moods

these colours dont seem to match

i threw up @ 6:31:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Monday, June 01, 2009

what about

sometimes i trust myself too much to only know that i will disappoint myself in the end
i wanted to live in a life where there is no worries, where there is no endurance
i threatened myself to succumb to the pleasures that life could bring me
only to end up right back at where i started from
i convinced myself that i deserved better than this
but i am not making any effort to make it a reality
i wait for a miracle which doesnt exist in my vocabulary
i yearn for a better life
i hope for people to treat me better
but i can never make it come true
when i dont give back what i owed
i point to myself all the time
i'm ignorant
i'm selfish
i want the whole world to be all mine
without giving other's a chance
i blame others for my mistakes
never known somebody so cruel yet so honest
i want people to care about me
when i dont even care to care about them
but when i do,
i expect it from them
if only i could lose it all
if only i could lose everything that i have ever owned
and realize that no one owes me a living
knock some sense into me
knock the reality into me

i threw up @ 9:13:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Sunday, May 24, 2009

supa peri

me and liana went to library somewhere near queenstown this morning... we planned to study some mathematics..

then we headed to anchorpoint kfc to eat lunch and guess what! i saw jiu qiang again!! hahax..

then liana felt tired and headed home while i called up rex to hang with me...

we ate at barcelona or sth haha i cant rmr. i think its barcelors. haha wtv the name is..

there was 4 types of marinades altogether...

tangy lemon

mild peri

veri peri

and....

supa peri!

this is rex's with supa peri marinade

and mine with veri peri marinade

and i didnt tell you that supa peri was 5 times hotter than veri peri.. hahaha

so my dear rex's face turned beet root red and he was sweating on the nose and his eyes began to tear... hahaha

i told him to give up and we traded plates.

i tried to prove my malay-rity to him by adding more of the supa peri marinade.

then i realized it was a really bad idea.

-.-'''''

i started to have the same symptoms as him.

hahah now it was his turn to laugh at me.

then we hanged at the roof terrace and listened to some within temptation songs that I , keyword, I! had recommended him.. hehehe..

we also bought some chocs and starbucks chocolate cream chip or sth.

haha
that was the best drink that i had ever tasted in my life! hahahha. i'm deprived of good food.

we then headed home taking 97 and saw mrs stella quah! -.-'' lol... she was with her husband i think. ahahahhaa

i bet when we poop tmr our assholes gonna burn. stupid peri.

i threw up @ 10:42:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

Friday, May 22, 2009

4/5

ramesh asked me to write a poem called 4/5
this may not be a poem but he inspired me to write this
these ppl not only inspired me,
they had motivated me to change my life
for the much much much better.

many of us live in this world
screwing up four fifth of our lives
why cant we look into that one fifth
and tell ourselves, we are not so bad after all

life is nothing but a journey
it doesnt matter who you meet along the way
good or bad
they are there for a reason
either to motivate you or to inspire you
they can also be there to bring you down
and it's only after that
then you can be lifted up again
with the strength that grows within you
and with that pain that used to be there
you become stronger

dreams will only become a reality
if you believe in yourself
have a little trust in your heart
believe that you can do it
no matter what shit others tell you
just to bring you down
and it doesnt matter if you fail
because with each failure
you learn from your mistakes
and get much much better

only then you'll begin to climb
higher and higher up the ladder to success
it doesnt matter how much steps it takes
one step makes a vast difference
because each step
brings you closer and closer to success

i threw up @ 11:19:00 PM
don't mourn for me;

________________________________________

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